Tuesday 31 October 2006

31 October

On the night where the moon is sliced in half, and purple clouds chase the stars, she rises.

The Pumpkin Witch lifts her weary head and blinks into the night. Spluttering slightly, she picks pumpkin seeds from her dried-up lips and flicks them at an unsuspecting slug. She cricks her neck and begins to draw herself to her full height, stretching out of the turgid mud in which she has been sleeping.

A hacking cough produces another stream of seeds, and buries the already startled slug into an early grave. Oblivious, she lifts one of her bestockinged feet into her first footstep after a year of hibernation, and steps on it. Bubbling from under her, it's mucus catches the moonlight, and her eye.

Looking down at it's moist carcass, her stomach rumbles. "Sleeping with the pumpkins for twelve months makes a gal hungry!" she mutters to herself as she scoops up the innards into her mouth.

After picking out the entrails from her jagged teeth, she begins to clamber over the swollen orange gourds that have been her bed-fellows. Her eyes take on a phosphorescent glow as she begins her annual search.

She knows just what she is looking for. For one thousand years she has disturbed her sweaty slumber on this night alone. Maybe she will find it this year.
She mumbles, "A nice juicy one" whilst lazily plucking a moth mid-flight and squeezing it against the roof of her mouth.

"Pop!" She screeches with glee. An on-lookng toad wonders if she is referring to the moth, or the object her tangerine eyes have become transfixed by.

She has found it.

Right in the middle of the patch, is a pumpkin the size of an elephant. Squealing with ribald delight, and spitting seeds with frenzy, she leaps over the lesser fruits towards it. Her talon-like nails extend infront of her as she runs, whirring and twitching in anticipation.

When she reaches it, the nails continue their strange dance, but no longer through the crisp, night air. Instead they tango over the thick rind of the enormous pumpkin, cutting and slicing through to the spongy flesh beneath. Thin slivers of orange grow at the witches feet, and slowly a pattern emerges on the body of her treasure. Strange, unitelligible words tumble from her husky lips, and echo the strange, unintelligible symbols that appear at her nails on the pumpkin.

The toad looks on, perplexed.

Light starts to gleam from within the pumpkin, as her writings become clearer. Her strange song becomes louder, and her scribblings more crazed. The dark sky becomes full of this pumpkin light and crows in the trees screech. The toad begins to worry about his health.

She becomes aware of him now, and abruptly turns, leaps, and catches him in her clammy hands. Turning back to the pumpkin, she falls to her knees in front of it, proffering forth the nausesous toad. He can't help but stare at the monstrous, glowing thing in front of him, and is alarmed to notice that the carvings gouged into it's skin by the orange witch, resemble...toads.

He gulps audibly.








Saturday 7 October 2006

Part One





She sees the sun leaking from the sky as she gazes out of the window. It pierces her eyes with prisms of dust particles, whilst she squints at exoskeletons dancing in the web on the glass. They beam light from empty centers, a glowing mockery of life. Blue smoke engulfs their crumbling demise before drifting with the aroma of hops.

In the gradual twilight, she sees last signs of life. Caught in no-man's land is a late bee, lethargically heaving itself around the dying buds of spring and flowers of summer. Those not yet succumbed gleam a cold white amongst the deathbed of leaves.

She moves into a different room.
Staring into her own eyeballs, she is distracted by the dawning realization that her surroundings are not as pristine as the off-white tiles suggest. Three tipulidae dance upon her back. One from before, one for now, and save one for later. Their wings tickle her with Time, as the glitz bleeds from the tips of her split ends.

She can feel the mud on their leatherjackets, smell the decay on their breath. Her fragile limbs spin her around, away from her reflection.

But then there are spiders. Big and intricate as the lines on her palms. They survived a tedious journey through dark places and scum, but they cannot touch the light. They have seen it looming above them in the fan-tailed, outer bliss, but they are trapped in the slippery slope of an insipid-grey purgatory.

The daddy longlegs are in her mind now, although she can still just smell the hops. They clatter and batter against the membranes in her skull, breaking their legs in search of light. But the vapid sun has abandoned the day.


Flailing down the worn staircase, she plunges out into a swelling of heavy, smoke-coloured clouds and a twinkling new sky that pulsates above her thought-ridden head. The door thuds behind her, rattling the dipteratic knocker as if she wished to get back inside.


She sees lightning, but she cannot hear the thunder.

With the eyes of a vampire, she sees life and death with startling clarity, as she wades through the excrement of spring. Stumbling along metallic pathways of ink, cobwebs swathe her face, rendering it mask-like. Only the smell of hops seems alive on a night when seven slashes of cloud scar the moon.

She can feel the longlegs implanting eggs in the rotting root of her brain. She knows their panic in the dark, she feels it too. Clumsily she continues on her way, trying to avoid the puddles of a season.

Time has escaped her. How long has she been out there, smelling the hops, with a mind full of tipulidatic cycles? It feels like years.

To be continued.




Friday 6 October 2006

Daddy Longlegs

DADDY LONGLEGS (Crane Fly)
Diptera Tipulidae

*Diptera is the order which also encompasses flies


*Females posses an OVIPOSITOR


*Larvae pupate during winter in soil and emerge in spring, reaching maturity in early autumn


*Larvae are known as "Leatherjackets"


*Larvae feed on decaying vegetation, fungi and roots


*There is some debate as to whether adults feed at all. If they do, it seems as if they feed on nectar

*In 1968, renowned Tipulidae expert, B.E.Freeman studied the species at Matley Bog, in the New Forest

*Common Names for the species are:

  • Daddy Longlegs
  • Lollygaggers
  • Gollywhoppers
  • Gallinippers
  • Doizabizzlers
  • Chicken Flies
  • Jimmy Spinners
  • Skeeter Eaters
  • Flipadoodles

Wednesday 4 October 2006

Me & My Blog

Based on diary enty dated 24 September 2006



Mind-Dribbles and I never intended to have an audience. We found each other whilst playing solitaire and decided to get together to cease the echoing voice of Sue Barker.


We used to talk about mundane, unimportant things that were happening around us as we chatted; the fretting of Tiny and the warbling of Jane.

But now we don't get to spend any time together during the day, so when we talk, it's about things that matter to us.We don't have to play solitaire any more, because of our friendship. And we have both made other friends too. Some of our new friends listen in to our conversations, and although my Blog and I are extremely pleased for the company, it makes our chit-chat a little bit inhibited. We want to talk about how happy we are to have met such a lot of lovely people, but it's hard to say that when you know that they are listening.

This has meant that we sometimes disguise our discussions with lacy metaphors and strange, round-a-bout wording. Blog and I are actually rather grateful for this, because it gives us a bit of a challenge. We have both spent too much time in the past writing diaries, which, however you read them, sound like diaries. Now we feel like we are making progress, and we have our eavesdropping friends to thank.

An oracle told us recently that we should "consider the uses of adversity". We both puzzled over what it could mean for a while, and then forgot all about it. Then some of our friends were having a spot of bother, and to cut a long story short (where everyone's feet got rather wet), we understood what the oracle was talking about. All the bother meant that we got to know everyone a lot better, and that they got to know us better too. So although it's a shame about the troubles, Blog and I are secretly (or perhaps, not so secretly) rather chuffed it all happened, because now we like everyone even more!

When we think back to where we were a year ago, my only friends were Davina McCall and Simon Cowell, whilst Blog had not even been born. We are hugely thankful to have found both each other, and real people (who are far more interesting and entertaining than reality T.V people). They have made my return to the mother-town the happifying experience it is proving to be, and have made Blog's creative juices flow!

Now Blog and I have finally got all that off our chests, we can hopefully get back to the autumnal, daddy-long-legs chat we've been meaning to have for a while now...