Of course this has actually been a rather entertaining week on the whole, it's only the last couple of days that seemed to have stretched all the way to eternity and back...
I ventured from the comfort of my small-town existence into the wide world of London at the beginning of the week. As it would seem there are too many little anecdotes for me to relay in detail, and as I am feeling lazy, I shall attempt to present them in list format:
SUNDAY
- Went to London. Sat next to old lady on coach who was wearing far too many lime green clothes for my liking. Even her shoes!
- Found my way back to the scabby corner of North London I had previously spent over two years of my life living in. Unsurprised to see that the streets there are still littered with chicken bones.
- Met old housemate in old house. Felt like I still lived there, it smells the same.
- Ate Polish food and slagged off all the people who still live there that I used to despise (mental note: must write blog about the lunatic Australian girl).
- Went to Camden, inspected a bloody lovely top hat until intimidating shop owner intimidated me.
- Stormed out of top hat shop.
- Wandered around lots of pretty things in the market, although I do not count Nikki from Big Brother as one of the pretty things.
- Went to pub with lots of black and yellow balloons everywhere.
- Dodgy bloke sat opposite me. He keeps stealing my liquorice papers to make roll-ups, but doesn't smoke them.
- Back at old house, sleep in my old room and start feeling rather sentimental, but about how much better everything is now rather than when I lived there.
MONDAY
- Had haircut, but the hairdresser reminds me an awful lot of the lunatic Australian girl.
- Wander around Camden again. No minor celebrities today though.
- Get on tube, stuck in tunnel for quite a long time, feel hot and sweaty. Nerve-wracking as it is September 11th.
- Tip-toe around the outside of the National Gallery, so as not to rouse the beast from his lair. Meet local mates.
- Pub. Continue to feel very hot and sweaty.
- Mates have been in the N.G. Impress myself, but probably no-one else by remembering a lot about the paintings in a verbal fashion.
- Tube again. Still hot and sweaty down there.
- Almost loose a member of our pack in the crowd, I get off to look for them, then they almost loose me.
- Meet up with more local mates and go and see childhood comedians make funny jokes for the radio.
- Have been drinking copious amounts of over-priced alcohol for the best part of the day, but feel horribly sober at the hob-nobbing after-show thingy.
- Burst of anger as bald-Marlon-Brando-at-his-scariest-coach-driver tells me I have booked the wrong ticket home. Mates try and give him money, but he's not having any of it.
- Watch mates disappear as I am ushered on to the coach I am booked on to. New driver says "Are you coming with me instead, luv?"
- Sulk on coach to Heathrow.
- Arsey driver from intended coach pulls up and directs me to ticket booth. No one there but a cleaner who directs me to a lady in a hut.
- Lady in hut is also arsey. Talks to me through window, tells me to get ticket from driver. Silly cow.
- Driver finally relents and lets me on coach after I apologize for getting angry and flutter my eyelashes a bit.
- Finally return to the bosom of my home town.
